As I sit here thinking about the possibilities that a new year brings, I can't help but wonder where my journey will take me... but to understand an ending, we must start from the beginning...
So, a little about myself. I am a native Georgian. My family has been in Bulloch County for more than eleven generations. My aunt was the first female entrepreneur in my hometown. She owned a hair salon on Main Street. Her brothers (one being my grandfather) owned a barber shop just down the street. I grew up counting every pear tree from my house to my grandmother's house. My grandmother, Eva Leigh, was my light. I've often said that wherever Eva Leigh was, Kittie was close behind. I attribute my love for Jesus and home to her. She taught me how to pray. I can hear her now "Now I lay me down to sleep..." Now, I enjoyed the prayer until it came to the "...if I die before I wake.." part because once Eva Leigh turned over, all I could think about was "Lord, Jesus... don't let her die tonight!" I would fall asleep praying and watching her breathe.
Fast forward to today. Many years have passed and she went to be with Jesus when my two oldest children were toddlers. She never met my Lucy... but she must've smiled on the day she was born because she knew my affinity for redheads (and she is a beautiful one!) And as much as Eva Leigh knew me and I knew her, I never truly understood her heart until I became a grandmother...
Something laid dormant in my chest. It was the same condition that Eva Leigh had so many years ago. Although she had been called home to be with Jesus nearly two decades prior, the effects of her condition made a huge impact on my life. I had no idea how much until that cold November morning. That's when it happened... I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed not only by what I was experiencing in that moment, but also what Eva Leigh must've experienced and how much it impacted this moment. But it was happening...unprepared, I stepped into the room and I saw him... my grandson. In that moment, everything came full circle. I thought that had already happened when I had my children, but not like this. In that moment, I felt the love I had for Eli and simultaneously felt the depth of love my grandmother had for me. I prayed "God, even if she only loved me half as much as what I'm feeling in love for him, I was MUCH LOVED!" Tears filled my eyes. I touched his hand and he grasped my finger. That's all it took. I'm in love.
One friend described it as "your heart waking up" and I remembered her words right then because that described perfectly what I was feeling. Who knew this kind of love existed? I didn't but God knew. He knew all along. He also knew that my love for him would grow even more (hardly fathomable, I know) over this past year.
He calls me "LaLa."
He loves food...and cars...and he loves me.
And one day, I'll tell him all about Eva Leigh and teach him the little prayer she taught me... and when I'm taken up to glory, I hope that the love we share will sustain him.... just like the love Eva Leigh shared has sustained me until she introduces me to Jesus (for the second time.)
