Job 26: 1-4
I was staring out of the shop window, watching and waiting for him. He was late. Again.
I glanced back to see my boss at her desk, looking over the top of her glasses at me then turning to look out of her office window. She scoffed "you shouldn't put up with this! Try calling him again." I walked over to the phone and called the house phone for the fifth time; this time, he answered.
In the background, I could hear the alarm clock screaming at him. "John" I said, then sighed in agitation at the nuisance of the alarm, " John, you're late." He sounded as if he the phone woke him up as he replied "I'm, I'm sorry, Kittie. I'm on my way now." I looked over at my boss as I hung up the phone. "He's on his way" I said. She laid down the pen on her desk, pushed back her chair, and walked down the steps towards me. She looked down at the floor, stood in front of me, and with pursed lips and a drawn brow said "Who does he think he is? He has done this to you before. A good husband doesn't continually forget to pick up his wife from work. I'm telling you, you should consider leaving him! You could do so much better. You deserve so much better!" She turned and walked back up the stairs and sat down in her chair and picked up the pen. She never made eye contact. She spoke AT me, not TO me. She considered herself offering wisdom to a young wife, but there was one little problem with her theory on marriage... she was alone. She had been married once, they had two children (now grown), but she divorced him... never to remarry. She was cold, and even at my young inexperienced age of twenty, I knew that I didn't want to be anything like her. I didn't want to end up alone, sitting at a desk with no one to go home to every evening. She didn't know John like I knew John, and she didn't understand the love we shared.
What she didn't consider (although I explained it to her) was that my husband had just taken a job working nights and was having trouble adjusting to the new hours. Even at only twenty one years old, He was faithful to go to work and cared deeply for our little family. He was a good father to our daughter and was a good husband to me. Why would I leave him because he was sleeping through his alarm? Why would I attach unfair intentions on his part to this situation? Thankfully, I knew my husband...and I knew the man she scoffed at was not who my husband was... the man she spoke of was her husband. She had been hurt, it turned her heart cold, and it spewed out of her mouth in reference to any man she encountered. To anyone else who didn't know my husband, it may have sounded like sound advice...but not me. I knew John intimately. He demonstrated his faithfulness to me many times over the years. She didn't see that because she wasn't there.
She wasn't there on the day he cried as they rushed me past him into the operating room. "We have to deliver the baby now, or she could die." She didn't see him get up with me during the night to change my bandages and feed our baby at 3 a.m. She never heard him sing softly to me as he stroked my hair to help me fall asleep when I was sick. She didn't see how tired he was from working all night...but I saw it...and thank God I knew it was not wisdom that she shared with me that day, but instead she reflected her own pain, manifested from her own misunderstanding of what love should be.
While waiting, I was reminded of Job and his friends, who attempted to offer advice to him that they considered to be wise counsel. I like Job's response in chapter 26: 1-4...
Then Job replied: “How you have helped the powerless! How you have saved the arm that is feeble! What advice you have offered to one without wisdom! And what great insight you have displayed? Who has helped you utter these words? And whose spirit spoke from your mouth?
Job has clearly mastered the art of sarcasm here! His friend offered no real advice...Bildad only muttered words to make it sound like he was wise and make it seem as though he knew what he was talking about. Thankfully, Job knew better. Job also knew that he had done nothing to bring about his circumstance. Job's friends were so caught up in being right that they failed to be concerned with truly helping him. I can't help but wonder if Job thought "Who does Bildad think God is?!?" Job didn't take his friend's advice to heart because Job knew God intimately. He knew God intimately because he spent time in prayer with God. Job honored Him and respected Him. How could he regard advice from friends who so shallowly described the One True God?!?
When John picked me up from work that day, I told him what my boss said. He could see that I was hurt and I didn't understand why she would suggest such a thing. He cupped my face in his hand and apologized for being late. We agreed that if she continued to say those things that I would resign. About a month later, I did just that...that was twenty three years ago. My boss lady never remarried. I hope she found healing but I'm so glad the Holy Spirit ministered to my young heart that day. Her tainted words didn't take root. Three kids and a grandson later, I am so happy that I chose not to heed her advice. Instead, I listened to love. Love said "remember." Love is still saying "forgive." Love keeps pointing us back God...who is always the wise counsel.
How sweet of God to remind me of this truth today as I share it with you!
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